Annie Skarie took the Gold. She wants Molly to meet Angel and Cody, her own dogs. “I wish we’d had a dog naming contest ourselves. Greg is a genius.” Well put Annie, well put!
NAME THAT DOG CONTEST. Thanks to all of you who participated in “Name That Dog” contest here at Great American Adventure. Before our Maltipoo puppy arrived, we decided to get your help picking a name. Hence the contest. Lots of you entered. I received almost a hundred nominations. It’s finally time to announce the puppy’s name and reveal the identity of the winning contestant.
SUSPENSE. Y’all have been on the edge of your seats! I get that. You’ve been ready to collect the prize money and get on with your lives. Ready to hire a babysitter and schedule your night at the movies. Because the winner of the contest will receive two theater tickets and a coupon for unlimited popcorn and drinks. In an age of budget cuts and staggering unemployment, such a valuable prize is rare indeed! I suppose that’s the reason we had so many celebrities competing for the prize. They ponied up dog names right alongside the rest of you folks. It became almost a Freudian struggle.
NAME ENTRIES. The sensitivity you displayed during the competition brought tears to my eyes. It wasn’t easy being the judge of your efforts, either. The pressure was measurable. Lots of you suggested cute names. Some proposed more serious ones. Many of you sensed my tendency to favor the whimsical. Finally, a few of your entries were suggestive of a coiffed poodle, perched atop a satin cushion in a quiet section of the bar in a fancy French bordello. So we had lots of names to consider.
During her Press Conference, Annie expressed her appreciation to Purina Puppy Chow and all the other contest sponsors.
INTRODUCING MOLLY. When Annie Skarie, whom we’ve known for years, reached out to us with the name “Molly” we were blown away. It was so far and away the perfect name for our dog. Not surprising that Annie came up with the winning name: After receiving her undergraduate degree from Stanford, she completed her studies at Yale, graduating at the top of her class with degrees in psychology and animal husbandry. We almost “called the contest.” It almost seemed cruel to the rest of you. Should we put you out of your misery or allow you to keep playing. Florence, always the insensitive one ended our debate. “Screw ’em. Let ’em flop around ’til the bitter end, like fish on the deck of a tuna boat. Well, the contest is over. We have a winning name, “Molly.” It’s a strong feminine name, simple, easily rolled of the tongue. It’s not likely to be confused with a command such as “No!” easily confused “Bo” or “Jo.” That mistake would make it difficult for our dog trainer when we ship Molly to England for protection training! And none of the name submissions of more than two syllables would have worked, right? Imagine “calling” a puppy named “Pamela-Anne Sue.” That type name would have been a real tongue twister.
Look at the smile on husband Roger’s face. When leaving his Rotary Meeting this afternoon, he was overheard saying that “Annie was friskier in the bedroom last night than ever before. Praise the Lord.”
THE WINNER IS. The winner is Annie Skarie. She hails from Rapid City, South Dakota near famous Badlands National Park and not far from inspirational Mt. Rushmore. She and husband Rodger will claim their complimentary movie tickets and snack coupons at the “Rushmore Seven Cinema” box office in downtown Rapid City. I’ve got a working relationship with the theater manager and it was easy for me to arrange ticket delivery and gift wrapping. Annie reports feeling “shell-shocked” and “in utter disbelief” at having submitting the winning entry. Quoted in yesterday’s edition of the “Native Sun News,” Annie said been “profoundly moved” by the entire contest experience.
THANKS TO THE AUTHOR OF GREAT AMERICAN ADVENTURE. “Thank you, Mr. Alford. I can’t thank you enough” Annie gushed into the microphones after a news conference concluded at the Pennington County Courthouse. Reportedly exhausted after the ticker-tape parade in her honor, Annie will take a few days off from her job at “Dollar General” to “catch her breath.” And from my perspective as Molly’s owner and a responsible member of the business community, I’m glad that I was able to stimulate the sluggish economy in Rapid City. It makes my heart smile to think what I’ve accomplished. Arrangements are in the works for Annie and Rodger to fly to Pensacola to meet Molly in person. My travel department is working with the Skaries to coordinate their existing travel plans for upcoming appearances on “Oprah” and Jerry Springer’s show.
Hi Mom.
Hello world, I’m Molly.
“Good golly, Miss Molly!”
THANKS FOR JOINING US. Thanks to all you guys for participating in the contest and for following our Great American Adventure. We love having you hang around, contact us, make suggestions and recommendations, reminisce about places we spent time together in the past and now, joining our online contests. You’re the greatest. And Molly thanks you, too. After all, until an hour ago she didn’t even have a name! She’s looking forward to seeing you again. Her mom tells her that she’d best get used to being groomed. Because dad will be soon be posting lots and lots of her pictures right here for all to enjoy!
I’ll continue my story next time.
Greg, I can’t tell you how honored I am to be chosen the winner. Words cannot express my gratitude. I went through every women’s magazine and even phone books scouring for cute and darling names for your new baby girl. I think I sent you hundreds of names over the past few weeks. I even had a pad and pen next to my bed just in case I came up with a name while I was sleeping. The whole thing became an obsession to me. I wanted her to have just the right name.
Thus I am over the moon with this illustrious honor of naming your precious little one Molly. It does suit her. Bless you dear friend, I will cherish this forever!
I just realized I also submitted the name “Molly.” Now what? Seems as if Miss Annie has already won the prize.